Because when Mercury is in retrograde, it fucks shit up.

There was once a time when I didn’t believe in Mercury retrograde.  I thought it was a stupid excuse that people used to blame on their misfortunes.  Truth is, I didn’t fully understand what it was and how it could be the source for so many people’s problems.  Now that Mercury is no longer in retrograde, I can remove my tail from between my legs and take my foot out of my mouth.  This shit is real.

According to MNN,

“Three or four times a year, planet Mercury is said to go retrograde — that is to say it moves in an opposite direction to planet Earth. Planets move from east to west around the sun, and when Mercury turns to move from west to east instead, that’s when Mercury is in retrograde. Many refer to this time of year as simply Mercury retrograde…

Astrologers believe that during this time, it has an effect on life here on Earth, specifically within the realm of communication and technology. In astrology, Mercury governs communication, travel and learning.

For this reason, Mercury retrograde is blamed for everything from miscommunication to technological bugs, botched business deals, missed flights, a mechanical issue with your car or even a broken cellphone…”

I learned the power of Mercury retrograde this time around.  I’ve been walking around with the confused, “you’ve gotta be kidding,” look on my face for the last 3 weeks.  What I learned during that period is that we’re being tested to see how well we will respond to mishaps.  This is important because as we enter a new year, we have to be prepared for difficult situations.  Why not squeeze all misunderstandings into a 3-week period?  Brilliant!

Here’s a rundown of my 3 weeks in retrograde.

  • My retrograde period began with the cancelation of an important happy-hour meet up.  I was disappointed, but completely recognized that this would happen and reasoned that it’s almost better to have this meeting when retrograde was over.
  • Items that I ordered online were lost in the mail or delayed in delivery.
  • The morning of my flight, I hopped in an Uber only to get stuck in traffic.  What are the odds that there would be a traffic jam at 5am?  In any case, I was left with one hour to go through security.  My bag got randomly chosen to be checked by TSA.  Go figure.  I was the LAST person to board the plane.
  • When I arrived in San Fran and went to baggage claim, I discovered my bag was lost.  JFK didn’t load my luggage on the plane.  Fortunately, it was delivered to me later that day.
  • The morning that I flew from San Fran to LA, I messaged my Airbnb for an appropriate check in time only to be told my reservation had to be canceled due to electrical problems in the apartment.
  • I purchased tickets to Happy Place in LA.  I was alerted that they’re canceling my ticket via a social media post.
  • When I arrived in LA, I got randomly cursed out by a druggy.  As a native New Yorker that may not seem like a big deal, but this was random and aggressive.

I can go on and on about the random situations I found myself in during those 3 weeks, but I’ll keep it short.  Ultimately, I learned that Mercury retrograde is a HUGE fuck you to travel, communication and planned events.  Fuck your plans, fuck your feelings, fuck you.  For future reference, here are a few things to avoid during Mercury retrograde.

  • Do not sign any contracts, making major decisions or plan/book any trips.  For some reason, there’s a lot of information that is misunderstood or unnoticed during this time period.  Things will definitely not look as they seem.  If possibly, delay any life-changing decisions for a few weeks.
  • Avoid scheduling meetings.  They will be rescheduled or canceled.  It’s inevitable.
  • Keep traveling to a minimum.  Based on my experience, I learned that traveling while Mercury is retrograde can cause lots of negative excitement.  This was the first time I almost missed a flight and the first time my luggage was lost.  I’ve also never experienced an Airbnb canceling on me.  Remember, this is a time period of miscommunication, delays and cancelations.
  • Don’t buy any electronics!  No new phones, laptops, smartphones etc.  Even if the item is delivered after the retrograde period, there is still a very high chance you’ll have issues with your new device.
  • Try not to shop.  This retrograde period was difficult because it was during the holiday season.  In general, you want to abstain from making any purchases.  As you can see, my Christmas purchases were delayed or lost.  Gift Cards are as safe as you can get.  When my packages did arrive, I noticed a few had to be returned because they didn’t fit.  This is typical.
  • Miscommunications WILL happen.  You will interpret minuscule interactions the wrong way. You will have senseless arguments about things that absolutely don’t matter.  Damn you, Mercury.

I hope this prepares you for the next retrograde period (Mar. 22-Apr. 15, Jul. 26-Aug. 19, Nov. 16-Dec. 6).