You know the expectations for yourself are high af when you can look at yourself and ask, “What am I doing with my life?”
The other morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Typically, I start my day with affirmations followed by a scroll on IG and a check-in on all the group chats. Following my routine, I felt this overwhelming feeling of sadness. Here I am, a 34 year old freelancer who for some reason felt completely direction-less in the moment.
I was scheduled to volunteer that evening at a young adults shelter. If I didn’t shake this feeling by the end of the day, I knew I wasn’t going to leave the house. There were so many things I wanted to accomplish by the end of the day but instead, I decided to wallow in self-pity. “Marsha, what are you doing with your life?” Your income is scarce, the freelance gigs aren’t rolling in the way they’re supposed to, how am I supposed to stay motivated?
I wasn’t going to let this mood plague my day. I decided to go for a jog in Prospect Park. While I ran, the thought came up again. “Marsha, what are you doing with your life?” Suddenly a list of activities filled my brain. I just hosted a fundraiser last week to help the children of Kenya living in an orphanage. I hosted my second webinar this week and provided tips and tricks to help others build their social media presence. Last week, I donated a bunch of clothes to a shelter and spent my morning feeding the hungry. This weekend, I will moderate a women’s empowerment event. I hosted a successful Mother’s Day event this past Saturday. Let’s not forget that I am a published writer. I’ve had the privilege of training two staff writers for Introvert N the City. How DARE I question what I am doing with my life because it doesn’t look a certain way?
I immediately checked myself. My income is NOT scarce, it is replenishing itself. The opportunities are rolling in exactly how they’re supposed to. I am doing a whole lot with my life. Sometimes we can’t honor the journey because it doesn’t look the way we expected it to. After refocusing, I decided to be grateful. I decided to change the conversation I was having with myself.
Moral of the story is, be kind to yourself. You’re doing the absolute best that you can! Every small action is a step towards a larger result. Let go of the idea of how it’s supposed to look and let the Universe guide your journey. You’re doing the best that you can!!