Originally published: 06/11/2020
Hey! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you're enjoying the new vibe of the website. If you've been here before, you know that I launched Introvert N the City in 2017. It was, and still is, a safe space for quirky, awkward, women of color in search of their tribe. I talked about spiritual stuff, current events, and lots of lifestyle deetz, like who designed my latest outfit or my experience traveling to certain countries.
In 2018, a major shift happened in my life. My 7 year relationship came to a screeching halt when I realized that I could potentially never get what I needed out of it. Choosing myself was the hardest, most liberating thing I had ever done. A few months later, I moved out of our two bedroom apartment and relocated to a studio not too far away.
As I entered into 2019, I decided I would dedicate that year to getting pregnant. Unfortunately as a lesbian, it's not as easy as it sounds. Still, I was determined to figure it out and birth a mini-me. I had a friend who was interested in donating some of his man-milk and co-parenting with me. After months of discussing, he eventually got cold feet and backed out. I asked a family friend to step in and he agreed. For 3 months we'd meet up at my mother's house where he'd drain his man-milk in a cup and I'd inseminate myself with a Mosie Baby (medical syringe designed to assist women in getting pregnant). Three failed attempts took a toll on my soul. I figured now was the right time to take it to the experts. I discussed doing IUI which would involve a doctor putting millions of sperm into my uterus through a small syringe. By the end of that conversation my second potential baby daddy had got cold feet and walked away as well.
I was going to do this with or without them. I hopped online and bought 2 vials of sperm. Sidebar - sperm is expensive, okay?! If I have any male readers here, think about that the next time you release your soldiers into that stiff rag on the side of your bed. Women like me would kill for those kids you just discarded.
I endured really intense monitoring. Pretty much every other day I had to have a vaginal ultrasound and blood work done. They inseminated me two mornings in a row and the next step involved me impatiently waiting for my period NOT to come. But it did. At this point I had spend a couple thousand dollars on the process and I wasn't pregnant. After the 4th failed attempt, I had to refocus on my mental health. I was single so there was no one around to really help me process what I was going through. I decided at that point that I'd put the baby making on hold until I was in a loving relationship. I couldn't risk going through that alone again.
For me, I can only process one life project at a time. Because my focus was having a baby, I gave up on my dream of growing Introvert N the City. It didn't click to me that I could explore growing my brand, having a child, and other life goals at the same time. The universe used my time in quarantine to light some fire under my ass.
As a creative, I always have those "what am I doing with my life" thoughts? Returning to corporate work had drained my soul. I needed to figure out my next step. After lots of Reiki work with my energy healer Janine O., she instructed me to mediate and ask the universe what my next steps should be. "Don't leave until you have your answer," she said. One night during a meditation, I started jotting down a bunch of ideas that came to mind. Among them was to revive Introvert N the City and to start a podcast.
After tons of conversations with my creative circle, here I am. I was in need of a purpose and the Universe led me to myself. Isn't that funny? My purpose is to give you great tools, content, and an overall experience through ME.
That literally is the long story short version. I missed the part where I moved into my studio that had a drug dealing access a ride van in front of my window. I was living in the middle of New Jack City circa 1990. Another story for another day.
I wanted to thank you all for stopping by. Hope you come back! I promise to have some great content for you to read, listen to, and absorb.